I'm writing this so that if it comes to it I will have a record of everything that happened. It is now 9:14pm on Oct 27th, the day of the incidents.

Begining at the first of Sept 2006 my legs started to hurt on a daily basis. After suffereing through 3 weeks with no relief (I'd tried darvocet n-100) I made an appointment with Amanda McGraw, CNP at American Medical in Hobbs, NM. I went to see her on Thursday, Sept 28 at 10 am. I was given Lortab (5/) and told to return if the pain didn't subside. By the next Friday, Oct. 6th I was reasonably certain that the pain was not going to be abated by the Lortab and I returned to see Amanda McGraw at 1pm. I was told that she could give me another medication but at this point she considered the pain "chronic" in nature and that she doesn't deal with chronic pain issues and she'd like me to see a pain management specialist. She gave me a prescription for Percocet (5/325) and I was contacted the next week with an appointment set up for me with Dr. Qubty in Lubbock on Oct 24th at 10am. The appointment was subsequently changed via a phone call placed to me by Dr. Qubty's office and the new appointment was scheduled for Monday, Oct 23 at 9:45am.

On Monday, Oct 23rd, I had my first appointment with Dr. Johnny Qubty in Lubbock, Tx. After waiting 2 1/2 hrs in his waiting room I was given a 30 minute exam (most of which consisted of him and his nurse trying to figure out the new computer system) and he came to the conclusion that my leg and knee pain were connected to the tenderness to touch in my lower back. I didn't suffer from much, if any, actual pain in my back except when it was touched. I had been previously told by Dr. Calames (my rheumatologist) that this sensitivity was due to my having Fibromyalgia and they were simply pressure points felt by a large percentage of patients with Fibromyalgia. Dr. Qubty then scheduled me for a facet block to be done on Friday, Oct 27th, at 8 am. According to him, I would be given an IV and sedated to the point of sleep so that when I woke up I wouldn't recall any of the actual procedure. At this point I asked for a prescription to cover the days from Monday to Friday as my Percocet was going to run out shortly. He denied me any medication and told me to return to Amanda McGraw for any pain medication. (note: in the paperwork I signed to become his patient I agreed to ONLY accept pain prescriptions from Dr. Qubty while under his care and that if I requested meds from any other doctor - with no exceptions - I would be dropped from Dr. Qubty's care immediately). I explained that Amanda McGraw had sent me to Dr. Qubty so that she no longer had to deal with the prescriptions for the chronic pain. He blew me off and said he'd have his nurse call Opal, Amanda McGraw's nurse, and explain the situation and he was confident that would be all it took for Amanda McGraw to refill my percocet. I did not need a refill after all (I was able to survive on cutting the pills in half) so I had no reason to contact Amanda McGraw during the time between my appointments with Dr. Qubty.

This morning, Friday the 27th at 7:30am I arrived at the Pain Management Center on 22nd and Joliet in Lubbock, Tx. I was quickly taken to a prep room with another woman and we were left to change into gowns. I was given an IV (which took 3 attempts) by a woman in blue scrub pants and a black shirt who had dark, long hair. At that time, I asked about the sedation. I was told it would be a combination of Versed and Fentanyl. Immediatly I told the nurse that Versed does not work on me (I learned this several years ago when I was given Versed to sedate me for a LP and they ended up giving me 5x the original dose and it still didn't work - it also does not have an affect on my mother). I was told that my concern was silly because as small as I am it would definitely work. Again, I voiced my concern about it not working. This was when I was told that it was all they could offer but not to worry, she was sure it would work just fine.

A few minutes later the woman I shared a room with was taken next door to the procedure room. She had also been quite nervous about the sedation and I was calmed by hearing a pleasant conversation and laughter between her and Dr Qubty during her procedure. When she was returned to the room ten minutes later she was in good spirits and her only complaint was that she was tired. I was quickly sent back to the procedure room.

In the procedure room there were 2 people besides myself - a hispanic nurse and Dr. Qubty. I was told by the nurse to lay on my belly on the bed. She asked Dr. Qubty about the sedation dosage and was told to give the "typical" amount ("two and two"). At this point I made it very clear that Versed doesn't work and if there was going to be any hope of it making any difference in my sedation the dose would have to be adjusted. I was completely ignored by both the nurse and the doctor. As soon as the medication was pushed into my IV Dr. Qubty began the procedure. He started with local anesthetic which, as expected, was a bit painful but bearable. He let me know the steroid injections were begining and that I shouldn't be able to feel anything. Immediately I knew he was wrong. I felt every bit of that first needle as it entered the space and injected. The injection burned as the medication was introduced. I was NOT quiet about this and let them know both immediately and loudly that it hurt a LOT. I told them to give me more medication (at this point I would have taken either more Versed, more Fentanyl OR more local - anything to ease the amount of pain the current injection was causing). The only response I received was from Dr. Qubty who said "It's okay, we're almost done." This was not true in either aspect - it was not okay and he was only 1/6th of the way done. I was relentless in letting Dr. Qubty know that it continued to hurt and the more he went on the more pain I was in. By the time he had completed the entire procedure I was very obviously in tears. I was helped to a wheelchair and taken back to the prep room without so much as a goodbye from the doctor or his nurse.

Once back in the prep room the pain was so intense I was near hysterical. I couldn't breathe in without severe pain, I couldn't find a position in which the pressure wasn't so crushing that I could see straight. I was handed a box of tissues and left alone as they helped the other woman get her things together and sent on her way home.

When I'd sat there crying for 10 minutes without so much as an inquiry as to how I was or if the pain was relenting at all the nurse who'd given me my IV came in, took the kleenex box from me and told me it was time to get dressed and she'd take me downstairs to leave. I told her I was going to need something for the pain. She left the room and was replaced by another hispanic office worker - I do NOT believe this woman was a nurse but she never gave her name - who said I'd be given a prescription for Tramadol. As I'd told Dr. Qubty at the first appointment I'm not allowed to take Tramadol because when given with Prozac it can cause seizures. She leaves and comes back a few minutes later. She tells me that, as I was previously told, Qubty will not be responsible for my pain medications and I should contact Amanda McGraw. I again try to explain that the amount of pain I am in now has magnified since the procedure and ask to speak to Dr. Qubty. I am informed that he's in another procedure and I cannot see him. I ask 3 more times as they remove my IV and give me my post-op care sheet if 1) I can have some sort of medication to ease the pain until I get home and 2) if I could speak with the doctor before I leave. Finally the nurse agrees to go ask Dr. Qubty about medication again.

When she returns this time she has a paper in her hand. Qubty has agreed to give me pain medication. However, even knowing that Lortab has not helped in the past with lesser pain than I am in now he has written the prescription for the lowest dose of Lortab available. I am told that he cannot give me the medication that I have been on, the percocet, because he doesn't have any triplicate forms. He still refuses to see me because he's simply too busy.

Every piece of paper I signed or was given before and after the procedure insisted that if I had an increase of pain I was to contact the Dr's office immediately. While I was still in the office I volunteered this information again and again. After asking to speak with the doctor the 4th time the staff became hostile and demanded that I take my belongings and go. I was rushed to change my clothing, the juice and crackers that were sitting on my side tray in the prep room were disposed of before I was asked if I would like them and I was wheeled downstairs and placed in my vehicle.

Things are fine - I know I haven't typed much at all lately but things here are just a bit nuts. Cordi and I both have been to the dr (me twice) for different things and on new RXs so trying to keep up with that and my other commitments and Gary's been working an unholy amount...things are just crazy.

Gary's vacation is next week, too, so I'll be single-momming it (with the help of Granny) and who knows if I'll get a chance to sit down or anything. Argh!

Hopefully more soon...

Autumn had its official beginning earier this week. Colors shall change and these things shall start to fall.

Our word for this week is:
Leaves

This is one of my favorite photos ever. And what a perfect opportunity to show it off!

Names.

Three songs.
Wind Cries Mary - Jamie Cullum
Allison - Holly Cole
The Ballad of Jamie Bee - John Gorka

Three artists. (oh come on now, this one's a gimme!)
Alison Krauss
Madeline Peyroux
Sara Gazarek

Three albums.
Mighty Joe Moon - Grant Lee Buffalo
I, Lucifer - The Real Tuesday Weld
Pray for the Soul of Betty - Constantine Maroulis & Pray for the Soul of Betty

I bless you with endurance.



“Those people who keep their faith until the end will be saved.”

Matthew 24:13



Jesus doesn’t say if you succeed you will be saved. Or if you come out on top you will be saved. He says if you endure. An accurate rendering would be, “If you hang in there until the end…if you go the distance.”

The Brazilians have a great phrase for this. In Portuguese, a person who has the ability to hang in and not give up has garra. Garra means “claws.” What imagery! A person with garra has claws that burrow into the side of the cliff and keep him from falling.

So do the saved. They may get close to the edge; they may even stumble and slide. But they will dig their nails into the rock of God and hang on.

Jesus gives you this assurance. Hang on. He’ll make sure you get home.

-Max Lucado